My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
