dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
