I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize