I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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