My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
