Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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