im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
