you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
