As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just gargled with NyQuil
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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