last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
