I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
