I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
