He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
