Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
