You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize