Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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