it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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