We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize