Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
