So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
