You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
