was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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