...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just had sex on a roof
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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