im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
