but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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