Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
