idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
