We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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