I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
