How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
