No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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