I'm eating all of the evidence.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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