the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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