i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I came so hard my ears popped.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
