New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Did you pee in the oven last night??
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize