Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
