That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
