I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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