She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He did a backflip because drugs
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize