I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
