u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
try to milk me bitch
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