Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i've created a new STD.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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