My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
