just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
