She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
