I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
