We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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