it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
