Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
