I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
