I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize