Can Purell be used as lube?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize