What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
