Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
