I wannas sexs uuuuu
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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