If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
