you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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