Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
