I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
my liver is dry heaving
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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