the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
