Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had to cum in my sink.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
