remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
